Bear in mind, this post is going to be a bit long, as there are many layers to it, but here goes…
I’ve tried everything by now, but I’m still not able to sleep after almost five years.
My body is a drama lama, and I’ve never heard of anyone who has suffered something similar to what I’ve experienced (However, I did read another Reddit post, which I resonated a lot with, but I would like to further ask and investigate).
In September of 2021 a lot of stuff accumulated into a chaotic mess. I had been in a trauma bond relationship, which left me paranoid and emotionally fragile. I had to end a friendship which I didn’t want to end, that ended horribly. I cleaned toilets at a time where everyone got jabbed and I was terrified of possible shedding. On top of all of this, it felt like my body had developed cancer, due to the relationship I had been in (and my mom and grandmother had it). All of this made me go into a seven day water fast in order to “cleanse” myself from all of it. However, it left me worse off than from where I started.
I did it right after my period, and on my third day, I noticed I had to take some electrolytes, so besides water, I ingested some salt water and experienced improvements. Then on my third day of reintroducing food (mainly cucumbers and some fruit) I experienced one of the worst things I ever had in my life. It was a panic attack, but worse than that. I felt like I was having a heart attack. I was suffocating. I couldn’t speak. I coughed. It felt like my body couldn’t produce oxygen and everything constrained in ways that made me call the ambulance, but the lady in the phone made me feel better, and so I didn’t go to the ER.
My parents laughed at me and called me a hypochondriac and since then, I can count on one hand on how much sleep I’ve been able to get. It came from all of the survival stress I’ve put myself through.
After the fast, It still felt like there was not enough oxygen in my blood, since my heart palpitations continued, along with the coughing, a sense of suffocation, followed by frequent nosebleeds. I got in contact with a functional doctor and that helped a lot. I also got my ovaries checked and they were okay. Nevertheless, my sleep has been non-existent and it has been the worst experience of my life. I have not been able to function properly in all of this time, and I am at my wits end, as I feel like I’ve tried everything.
Anyhow, because I don’t want to act as a victim of my circumstances, I’ve healed a lot of other things, but my sleep is still not there. I’ve built capacity to do a lot, but it’s just not sustainable and I really need some examples to where I might need to go from here.
I know a lot regarding nutrition and nervous system therapy, so I’ve done a lot of work on myself and I eat healthy. I’ve gone from feeling like puking and coughing all the time, to tension in my neck and vagus nerve, where a lot of anger was present. This is now gone, and now I only feel tension, tics in my left eye and that I should just sit and digest air in silence (intuitive breathwork).
There has been so much, that my body did not know how to process all of this mess. But this work of getting better for real, has been going on for the past two years and I’m getting insane that my body can’t seem to remember how to sleep (then I got a fear of dying when I slept, which certainty didn’t help either. Other than that, it seems like when my body is about to sleep I get night sweats and my body temperature rises instead of lowering. However, it doesn’t happen every night).
I’ve tried everything. Except anti-histamine medication (Phenagan) or SSRI’s, which is my absolute last resort that I am discussing with my doctor.
All minerals and electrolytes are accounted for. Only thing I haven’t tried, which I might consider is Hydrogen therapy or Hyperbaric chamber. Or else the carnivore diet (since my body needs repair after this. Where I believe my creatine intake is the only thing keeping me sane). All sleep hacks, hygiene and supplements are tried and tested.
It’s a nightmare and I just want to get out of it. So if some wizard or person who exists out there, who might have gone through something similar and have come to the other side. Please do not hesitate in sharing your experience :)