u/RelevantChard1784

Okay, so I know this is an often debated topic, but I still do not understand how this is *SUPPOSED* to work.

I recently asked a question about helping a 12 year old rec league player (not my kid) get ready for high school tryouts in a year. The responses I got ranged from angry, irritated “it’s rec league, just let them play, stop ruining youth sports by pushing them so hard,” to “if she’s that far behind now, she’s not going to be able to catch up, and you should probably not expect her to make the high school team.” At one point I mentioned that my daughter plays rec and travel ball and also plans to try out for the high school team, and I got a lot of “travel ball is killing youth sports” and “travel ball is ridiculous and is just for the parents to pay money and brag.”

But do yall see the disconnect? If rec league is supposed to be beginner friendly and low pressure and fun for everybody, and high school ball is competitive and challenging and requires you to have already developed some skills in order to make the team, then rec is not preparing these kids to play high school. In our area, there is no middle school softball or baseball in the schools. It’s rec or travel ball at that age.

I’m just trying to understand. For those that hate travel ball, do you want rec to become more competitive and intense? That makes it less welcoming for beginners. And for those that don’t want rec to become more serious, why are you critical of parents/players choosing travel ball, which better helps them prepare to play in high school or even college?

There’s this idea that club/travel teams are ruining youth sports (club soccer and volleyball, AAU basketball, travel softball and baseball), but often the only alternative to the club/travel team is a beginner-friendly rec team.

So for everyone who says that club/travel sports have ruined youth sports, how did it work when you were young? Where is the middle ground that still allows kids to try new sports just for fun but also allows higher-caliber players to continue to improve and refine their skills and prepare for the next level? I do not see how all of that can happen in one rec league, so travel ball seems to be the answer, but so many of y’all hate it with a passion.

By the way, my daughter gets the same number of live arm at bats in one tournament with her travel team as she gets ALL SEASON in rec, where we are playing one game a week.

My daughter is 12 and plays 12u b-class travel ball. She also plays rec league mainly to work on pitching (she mostly plays 2nd base and outfield but is also the 3rd or 4th pitcher on her travel team, so she uses rec league to get better at pitching) and to have an opportunity to play with her school friends.

One of her school friends, let’s call her Eliza, is a kid with a great attitude and ton of heart, lots of grit and perseverance, who just isn’t very good. She’s tried playing multiple sports and sticks it out but always ends up riding the bench most of the time. But she clearly likes sports and wants to be on a team and be an athlete, and while she’s not naturally super fast or athletic, she’s smart and willing to work hard and could be a decent player.

The problem is that her family approaches sports very casually. She attends the team practices and goes to games and does zero work outside of practice on her own time. This has been an issue in the other sports she has tried to play. Her mom has told me several times that she would like to play softball in high school, and she’s played rec league for a couple years now, but she is very obviously behind the other girls because she’s not putting in the same level of work in the off season and on her own time outside of team practices.

Well, tonight she made some very big errors and ended up crying in the dugout. She’s a sweet kid and I hate to see that, and I was glad that the other players and coaches were kind and encouraging to her. But then her mom said something to me about how rough of a time Eliza was having this season, and I think maybe I was an asshole in my response.

I said, “mom to mom, the truth is she would have a lot more fun out there if she practiced and worked on fundamentals. It’s never fun to make mistakes, and some of these skills require hours and hours of repetition to master. She’s not going to get better just practicing 1-2 hours a week with the team. She’s got to put in the work on her own. Take her to the batting cages or go to the park and work on throwing, catching, fielding grounders, sliding, etc.”

The other mom was pretty clearly upset by my comment, and I immediately felt bad, but also, these parents aren’t doing their kid any favors by continuing to put her into different sports without helping her develop as a player. We had to tell this family multiple times to get their daughter appropriate gear (like a fact mask and batting helmet). I know it’s not a financial issue, they just don’t take sports seriously at all and don’t prioritize them. But their daughter wants to play, and it’s more fun to play when you’re not always the worst kid on the team.

So I guess I was the asshole, but maybe they will actually listen. Their kid has played model school basketball and volleyball and rec league softball, with hopes of playing some of those sports in high school, but she is significantly below the average skill level for kids her age because she never practices on her own or seeks out help. My husband even offered to give her FREE private lessons and sent the mom links for very affordable clinics and skills and drills sessions. They haven’t chosen to do any of that. And then she sits in the dugout and cries when she messes up.