Genuine doubt about Gurus
I am very skeptical about Gurus and consider Narayan Dutt shrimali ji as my guru and haven't been initiated by him and he could be an enlightened soul.
But from what I have seen is the way he presents himself in videos is what absolutely resonates with my values but what's problematic for me the way he or maybe someone else writes about him in his books is a totally different personality which puts him on a pedestal of gods .
At first I interpreted it as maybe he would be trying to show how guru should be considered which in value should be above even gods but books do so in power as well.So, I needed clarity about it and I haven't actually entered sadhna deeply and I can't until I remain doubtful about my guru.
So, I wanted to know if I should leave it or continue on with guru sadhna first to actually try to know him myself rather than relying on personalities that we see in books and videos.