Critique My First Message
I found yet another profile saying "ask me anything". I finally decided to take one of those profiles on their offer. Here's what I sent:
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The Snail Assassin: You are granted immortality, but there is a single, immortal snail that is always slowly slithering toward you. If it touches you, you die instantly. What’s your strategy to deal with the snail?,
The Ghost Niche: If you were a ghost, what extremely specific, mildly inconvenient thing would you haunt?,
The Food Sensation: Would you rather be able to taste colors only when you're in a library, OR be able to hear cheese but it's always a faintly judgmental whisper?,
My answers:
Snail Assassin: I'd just put a Post-It note on the floor that says 'Snail: Do Not Cross.' Legally, it has to stop. I don't make the rules of mollusk law, I just enforce them.
Ghost Niche: I would haunt USB ports so people have to flip it three times instead of the standard two.
Food Sensation: Hear cheese, 100%. But I'm specifically cultivating a diet of only Mozzarella because I imagine it whispers like a golden retriever who just wants to be included. 'Hey. Hey. You're doing great. That's a nice cracker.' Whereas I just know Blue Cheese would sound like my passive-aggressive aunt criticizing my life choices from the fridge at 2 AM. 'Interesting outfit choice today.'