Kinda feels like I don't belong
Okay, some points of context:
I'm a PT CEM at my store (technically, I signed on for nights and weekends, but apparently I was the only one that got that memo, since I am often scheduled for random weekday shifts (like mid on a Tuesday, or opening on Friday morning) and yeah technically I guess *any* night is part of what I signed up for, and *any* weekend day, but I digress...)
I have been with this nightmare of a company for about half a decade at this point. (Give or take a few years to avoid any possibility for doxxing).
I have not been CEM for the whole time I have been here. It's...relatively recent.
In the past, in my store, we have found that communicating directly with each other (via personal cell phones) is more reliable than trying to get the janky store phones to work. This is mostly important for things like callouts.
We recently got the newest minimiks (I think they're the zebra ones? Honestly, I can't keep track of what model we're on anymore...) and we are expected to move to zello soon. We've gotten several complaints, internal and external (employee *and* customer) that calls are not connecting, or just dropping, or just flat out aren't being answered. This is a known issue that we were told to wait for Zello to worry about.
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Now, for the story, and the part that relates to the title. I'm gonna try to be vague here...as much as I can, while keeping my anonymity as best as possible.
I am disabled (enough to qualify for a handicapped parking permit, but apparently not enough for my state to deem me unfit for work). I am currently discussing my options with HR, in regards to my job, and my expectations/duties.
I was scheduled one day as opening MOD (a while back, at the time of writing). I had an issue related to my disability, that caused me not to be able to make my shift at 7am. I checked the MOD game plan, and there was an overlap of 4 MODs.....as I remember:
RM was in 3-11, FM: 9-5, ASM: 7-3, and myself 7-11....plenty of coverage.....and then some (which, like, bizzare, really. We *NEVER* have that much coverage for anything....ever)
I tried calling the store, despite knowing full well of the issues we've been having with our phones; no answer (it rang three times, and told me the voicemail box was full....which like....what?)
This particular day happened to be a truck day. So instead of inconveniencing *everyone* in the MOD group chat at 3am, I shot a text over to my RM (who I knew was awake, since it was truck day), explaining the situation, and specifying that I would not be able to make my shift.
I was marked absent: NCNS.
This boiled my blood. I was furious. I tried to gauge the situation, and even reached out later that day, to try and figure out what happened, and why I was coded that way, and no answer....guess it's only okay for other management to text me when they need something (namely call-out coverage...)🙄
I am still furious about this, because out of nowhere attendance points start actually mattering, when they don't for literal months, and suddenly, surprise! I have 15 points, and shouldn't even still have a job, but they're doing me a courtesy by keeping me on, and they like my work ethic....when I show up...
It's just frustrating, because why am I being punished for the stores ineptitude? Why am I taking the fall for not showing up, when I did my due diligence?
I even went into the schedule and found out that the reason code *could* be changed after the fact. I just can't change the reason myself, cuz it would look sketchy.
So now, what do I do? Do I just shut up and take the L?
Do I contact HR?
Do I do the sketchy thing, and change my own absence?
Like what's the protocol here?
When I contacted my SM about it, I was told "per the SOP" I need to actually call the store and speak to someone AT the store. That's great. That's fine and dandy, for an SOP that was written 1000 years ago when we still had freaking landline phones that actually worked! Now, we've got janky pieces of crap that only allow every 12th call through, and if you're not lucky caller #12, you get shafted; too bad, so sad for you.
And while we're at it, "per the SOP" there's *A LOT* of stuff that's not being done correctly. But clearly it only matters when someone notices. (Can you tell I clearly have nothing better to do than ACTUALLY READ the SOP?! It's crazy! Imagine reading the rules of your job!)
Oh, and I'm only really a MOD when they feel like it....(I mean, I have the title, and I have the (frankly laughable) pay raise, but they only actually tell me important stuff when I ask about it (example: I was told the details of Michael's cares fundraising on week 3 of 5 (wasn't told it was extended)? I wasn't told anything about anything, but our team was told to "get with a MOD" or "ask a MOD" if they had questions, comments, concerns, queries...I was no help for that.)
I am literally the last person to know anything about anything.
I am not told when POGs change, so I walk customers over to aisle X where I've always known item Q to be, and suddenly item Q is no longer in aisle X, it's in aisle R, on the other freaking side of the store...
And it all makes me look like an incompetent jackass.
And it honestly feels like (and this might just be my neurosis talking here), that my MOD team does not like me. They don't treat me the same as the other MODS (well, all but 1...1 of them treats me like a human...the others treat me like I'm the red-headed stepchild, and they want nothing to do with me...)
All that to say, it feels....almost retaliatory? But not retaliatory, per se?
More like predatory.
More like they're trying to push me out (no wonder turn around is garbage).
So now, long story aside, I don't know what to do. I am one of the few people that actually *likes* working here, it seems.
But it kinda feels like I no longer belong in the rabbit hole I've carved for myself...and honestly, that's heartbreaking on a different level.