Heartbroken by an antisemitic comment made by my father.
I will try to keep this on topic and not put my entire relationship with my father on this post.
I just got married to my husband last month, he is Jewish (Reform). I was raised Catholic but haven't been to a church in at least 20 years. We have been together since 2021. (This is important, I promise)
Today I was taking my father to a doctors appointment (since hes not allowed to drive for a week or two since surgery) and he got to talking about a former employer of his, and wondering if the company they ran is still in business. I told him, I thought they were since I have seen their trucks around recently. He says something to the effect of "Of course they wouldn't close up the business, they want the money, they are Jewish afterall"
I almost pulled off the highway and took him back home. I admit that I absolutely lost my cool and raised my voice. I asked him why he would think saying something like that to me was ok, knowing I have a Jewish husband and that I have not tolerated his racism or bigotry in the past. He tried to apologize but I basically shut down and only spoke to him out of necessity.
On the way home he tried to apologize again, I told him I won't condone antisemitism and that if he keeps up speaking like this he won't have a daughter anymore. I told him he needed to educate himself and find out why he believes that perpetuating these stereotypes is ok.
I am absolutely heartbroken. I don't even want him around my husband now. I don't want him in my home. I don't even want to talk to him right now.
The worst part is, I have been dipping my toe into the idea of conversion, because after spending 5 years of holidays experiencing Judaism, I find its very comforting to me. Is he going to hold on to these horrible ideas of Judaism after his own daughter is Jewish?(If I proceed)
I am sorry this is really heavy, I just need some insight and I felt like I would find some here more than anywhere else (this feels more like a safe space than AIO). I feel conflicted, like I may have went overboard but at the same time, how could I not defend the people I love....from the people I love?
I did talk to my husband about this, I didnt tell him exactly what was said, but he needed to know why I was so upset all day. He's not exactly the advice guy. He will listen and not judge, and allow me to vent.
A few key points. My father has said really hurtful things before, and I have forgiven him. He has had a decent relationship with my husband, and thinks hes a good guy.
I guess basically, has anyone gone through something like this, and how do you navigate it? I obviously need a few days of zero contact until I can sort out my feelings and be less angry at him.