Relapse
As probably most of us all know, relapse doesn't start with using...it starts way earlier.
For me, it was a lot of stress, I felt off but couldn't put my finger on what it was, and I also felt unable to sit with myself.
I used to keep my past detox experience in the forefront of my mind so I wouldn't ever forget how bad it was, but over time (when I stopped doing the work), I started to tell myself I could do it again. It wasn't that bad. I survived once, I'll survive again.
I stopped doing the things that were helping, I isolated more, and I found myself getting in my head way more too.
Eventually, it stopped feeling like it was a bad idea and started sounding more and more appealing.
That's honestly the scary part. It doesn't FEEL like you're messing up, it starts to feel like a good idea.
Curious what it was like for others and what did it feel like right before you relapsed? (If you have)