Have a job offer for a private practice that has location in both Mid-City Santa Monica, or UTC San Diego area. Have gone through the rabbit hole of ChatGPT to help with pros / cons, and was even out in LA for 3 days and then San Diego (PB / Crown Point airbnb) for 5 days) hoping it would help... and my husband and I still came back unsure of which was the right decision. A little about us:
My husband and I are deciding between Santa Monica / Venice (LA) vs Pacific Beach / Bird Rock (San Diego) and are honestly very torn.
A bit about us:
- Married gay (if that matters lol) couple (late 20s/early 30s) with a dog
- I’m a psychiatric nurse practitioner
- My husband works in tech/operations and is looking for a new role (ideally in tech/startups); does have a job (remote) so it is not a immediate need / financially we are thankfully ok
- We have ~5–7 close friends in LA and 1 cousin in San Diego
- Budget: ~$4k–$4.2k for a 2BR
What we’re looking for:
- Walkable, bikeable, close to the beach
- Clean, safe, and comfortable walking around (especially at night with our dog)
- “Calm but not boring” — relaxed lifestyle but still some energy
- While we don’t want constant chaos, we do want access to some “city energy” (restaurants, events, things to do when we want it)
- Ability to build real community and long-term friendships (not super transient)
- Access to pickleball leagues, run clubs, and social activities for people our age
- Good restaurant scene (more quality/sophisticated vs party/bar-heavy)
- Some culture (concerts, museums, sports occasionally)
- Strong job opportunities (especially important), particularly in tech/startups for my husband
- Travel access:
- Good airport access (domestic + international nonstop preferred)
- Road trips are a big priority (California, Tahoe, Yosemite, Vegas, Sedona, etc.)
Neighborhoods we’ve loved:
- LA: Montana Ave (Santa Monica), Abbot Kinney, Main St (Ocean Park), Manhattan Beach
- SD: North PB, Bird Rock, La Jolla
Our dilemma:
- San Diego feels cleaner, calmer, and easier day-to-day
- LA feels like it offers more opportunity, variety, travel access, and we already have a social base
Additional context:
- We like PB, but when we were there recently and went out at night (we love a good dinner + cocktail), it felt a bit fratty/rowdy in certain areas
- If we chose PB, we’d likely live in North PB or Crown Point to avoid the Garnet Ave party scene
- If we chose LA, the plan would likely be to spend a few years in Santa Monica/Venice and eventually (financially permitting) settle longer-term in the South Bay (Manhattan/Hermosa Beach), which we love
We’re trying to figure out:
Which place actually leads to a better overall life long-term
Where it’s easier to build both routine and community without feeling bored or overwhelmed
Would love honest opinions from people who’ve lived in either (or both). What would you choose and why? Also if not in film or entertainment industry - will that be a large part of LA no matter where we live or is that more Hollywood and east LA?