looking for a mentor or some high value advice but certainly something
I am (F26) not sure what I am trying to achieve here but here it goes. I worked from the age of 15 until 23, since then I haven’t worked. Until the end of 2024 I had an abusive relationship which looking back I am endlessly grateful for, what nobody seems to comprehend. It was really bad and ended up with him going to prison for the things he did. I was severely depressed after but also it opened my eyes so much that I would choose the same path again. It showed me my blindspots that got me into the arms of a man that wanted me because of his own unresolved problems and not because of actual love. I learned so much from this about me, life, peoples behavior and just everything. It made me strong, resilient and gave me extreme intuition especially for authenticity. Now, I feel like a new person and I want to live, but I changed so much that I outgrew everyone around me. I dont talk to anyone no family no friends and no job. I am intelligent but I don’t fit in any system. My biggest strongsuit are emotional intelligence, intuition and thinking. I am great on personality development ands reading people and I want to help people overcoming their shadows, I want to coach or teach. Problem being, I am a thinker, not much of a doer regarding the materialistic bureaucratic 3D world. I have add, I don’t fit anywhere, I can’t do the 9-5 anymore it wrecks me. I need to do things in my own time my own way but self employment is too much bureaucratic responsibility for me. I am 20k in debt because of the abusive relationship, which hangs over my head like a big grey cloud.
I live in hamburg, germany, i don’t like it here and I can’t find anything that fulfills me or changes the situation. I wrote a 12 page pdf of the things I learned and I think would help the general population to be happier but I don’t know what to do with it.
All i do all day is learning about new things, about personality developement or understanding how things work, but somehow I can’t find the connection from that to my actual life.