I (f 79) have been with "Nelson" (m 68) for 10 years, inseparably LDR and living
together for the last 6. I've had a horrible cancer, a 'slightly' broken back and the ups and downs of fibromyalgia. Nelson has been a wonderful caregiver throughout. But during the worst of my bad health events, he seemed to change. I thought he was getting lazy and a little mean. For all the time we've been together I've begged him to see a doctor for various problems he's shown. Always a strong refusal. Lots of men are like that. He had no problem taking me to all my appointments so I kinda left him alone. Turns out he had heart disease and collapsed from a stroke or two. I will spare you the nightmare scenario of what happened next but it was bad.
I followed him into the hospital by one day. I was there (basically against my will) for a month. He was sent to a seedy nursing home where he's been miserable and appearing to be worse than when he got there. A couple of weeks ago the "Spend Down to Medicaid" train left the station. It has been brutal. I have the paid off house and car, he has a little money in the bank and the bigger SS check. Between the two of us we've been doing fine. Living frugally but loving being together with our pets. We need each other emotionally and financially. I've been recovering better at home but it is rough and lonely. The Rehab has been messing with his bank account, leaving me without a debit card while I have had to dig into my bank account (half of which goes to our nightmare of a property tax bill). HALF MY INCOME! We want him home but I was accused of wanting his money while they dip into his very modest life savings. He looks horrible, it's heartbreaking. Even though he has given them permission, they have never, in two plus months, disclosed his condition, diagnoses,
prognosis, medications. It now seems apparent why. They said he could come home but it would be without a discharge plan, without meds, Against Medical Advice so no home health care, PT (to which we are both entitled). I believe that's illegal but they are clearly unafraid of me. My main concern is his health so I have decided to get him into a nicer facility, which he can afford, for awhile as a segue to his coming home. He will be disappointed but I think it's safest. So what do you Redditors of Helena recommend? I've got to get him out of that hellhole!
,