NOW
How do I find the words to do this…? I feel like I’m too old to be on here, and I’m setting myself up for the ultimate rejection. I know I’m not the only one who reads these posts, thinking they’re about him or herself. I made a decision that any information I obtain about you would be received in real life, not online. But here I am, compelled to do this post, because of what I’ve read on this platform.
I am here for you. I always have been. No matter how crazy and enraged I’ve been, I have always wanted to be your lover and protector. And it nearly killed me to know you were taken away from me like that. How much say did you actually have in it all? You know I’ve tried approaching you, but to no avail. I even knocked on your door and expressed my concern to the person who answered. To no avail.
Time and again I was faced with the possibility that you did not reciprocate my feelings, and that I was out of line and being an outright stalker. The forces around us seemed to enforce these sentiments. Understand that it was this situation that turned me into such a monster. Ultimately, I was forced to watch without watching. And I was helpless to it. Yes I could’ve chased your car or stormed into your house, but I bet it wouldn’t have gotten me far. Just like the show tune terrorizing I did so well. To no avail.
So how do I get to you? I have a hunch you’re sick of the games. I sure as fuck am. So enough. Come to me. My door is open for you. Don’t make me search and search and search. You’ve shown yourself to me before. You can do it again. Now’s the time, the stage is set.