Having a kid as an autistic male (33) with my partner (35) and the chances of the kid being autistic
Hello, I am an autistic man, diagnosed at age 30, I am 33 years old. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 6 years, she is 35 years old, and possible ADHD, not diagnosed.
Thing is, she wants to have a baby in the future, I am undecided, not my priority, but not saying no. I am still working in building my own home, I am an architect, late bloomer one. She still lives with her mother, she is an artist and teacher. It really is up to me to give us a home of our own.
But, she says she wants her own place, not to share it, has talked about having something like Frida Khalo and Diego Rivera´s house studio, two places into one site. That is one thing.
The other thing, she is worried about having to deal with an autistic kid, more if the kid is non verbal. I didn´t speak until I was four, couldn´t tie my shoes until 5, worked against dislexia, I even had drooling until 4. I had to work so hard, without being diagnosed for 30 years, to overcome my own challenges and become independent, have a career, being social, mask like bloody Batman and work as an architect.
She doesn´t want to have a kid with me, not from me, she says she doesn´t want to take the risk of giving up her career and goals for taking care full time for an autistic child, even I am there to raise the child together. I say, if we have an austitic child, I am better prepared than any other person to know him/her.
She wants to know, what are the statistics, the probability, of having an autistic child, if it is too high or low, being her 35 years old and I 33, I being diagnosed, if the chances are low, she says she may think about it, if not, she prefer that I have a vasectomy, and I agree.
Do you think that age and genes are a big factor into it?