Am I getting better or worse?
Hey everyone, this is kind of an update to my last post.
I won’t repeat everything, but I’ve been dealing with derealization/anxiety symptoms for a while now. Lately I’ve noticed some changes and I’m trying to figure out if this actually means I’m improving or not.
Some things I’ve noticed recently:
- I have days where I feel genuinely good, like myself again, even happy and energized
- The thoughts/sensations are still there, but they don’t hit as hard on those days
- I’ve realized that anticipation is worse than actually doing things once I’m in the situation, I’m usually fine
- If I just live normally and don’t overthink, I feel okay
- But as soon as I start analyzing how I feel or thinking ahead (“what if I feel weird later?”), it triggers anxiety and the feelings get stronger
It really feels like overthinking/self-monitoring is the main thing keeping it going.
I’ve also had moments where I push through discomfort (like going out, driving, etc.) and it ends up being fine, even if it feels weird at first.
At the same time, I still get “off” days (especially after bad sleep) where I feel:
- brain fog / lag
- slight derealization
- just generally off or disconnected
Another thing is that it’s less panic now and more just annoyance. Like I understand what’s happening, but my body still reacts sometimes and it’s frustrating.
So I guess my question is:
Does this sound like actual progress?
Like, is this what getting better looks like (more good days, less intense reactions, but still inconsistent)? Or am I just going in circles?
Would really appreciate hearing from people who’ve gone through this.