My boyfriend has always had this close relationship with his mom that I have never questioned until now. We are starting the next phase of our relationship - moving in together on the other side of the country and his mom wants to follow.
I was fine at first with her following (I have a great relationship with her!) but then it just got weird - my boyfriend got extremely anxious about making sure she is okay. Now - she is stating she needs to live right next door to us in an apartment complex. I asked if we could compromise with her living a couple minutes down the street and all hell broke loose. My boyfriend is really fighting me on 'seeing her side' and feels like we have to do it this way - not our 'move in together' way.
There's more to the story - but essentially, I am now believing that their relationship is no longer beautiful, but rather unhealthy. He seems so protective and defensive of his mom - I am scared he will never see this viewpoint. I am planning to talk to him about it - but what if he doesn't see my POV? Is enmeshment really what is taking place here? How can I make this relationship work?