Im extremely worried rn, tw mentions of animal abuse ,
I have a dog and my siblings both own cats. When I was 5-6 I’d choke the cat we had back then, I’m not sure why , I know I was diagnosed with adhd. Not sure if that played into it in any way but it’s definitely not an excuse. I stopped doing that and I’m not sure if it was more than once since I was pretty young, I’m 17 now and am dealing with mistakes I’ve made in the past- this is probably the biggest one. I know I was a kid and perhaps shouldn’t be worrying about it now that I’m about to enter adulthood soon, but I can’t help but think about it. I feel like a monster because of it and I feel horrible. It ruins whenever I want to spend time with my pets, not cause I think I’d do it ever again because I know I wouldn’t. But because I feel like I don’t deserve to live with it. I feel an insane amount of guilt for doing this as a child and I’m not sure how I can get over it. I love my pets and have grown to have much empathy for both humans and animals and even insects. But that doesn’t erase what I did as a child. reading about this online definitely didn’t help either as people just said this could be “signs” of a child growing up to be antisocial/a serial killer. Im sorry if this made anyone uncomfortable to read. I just feel desperate