TLDR exactly what the title says. complicated boss dynamic, need better supervision. long rant incoming.
i’m 1 year post grad in a community based behavioral health clinic. i am an outpatient therapist for adults of all diagnoses as they step down from inpatient or IOP/PHP.
my job is hard. high acuity. many cases. many complex cases. many systemic issues informing peoples suffering. much medical overlap. i’m slowly finding my footing and just now starting to feel like my clients are making progress, it feels profound to get to see people at such a pivotal moment build so much for themselves. i feel lucky and blessed to do this work 95% of the time.
my boss is…fine. there are many things contributing to our dynamic. she is well intentioned but is overworked, is not very boundaried/ chronically overshares, and she has had some questionable takes and comments over the past year. we are just generally not from similar walks of life. there is also some transference/countertransference because of my #mommyissues and she has said to me multiple times “you remind me so much of myself, i think you’re so talented and amazing and better than the rest blah blah blah” which for some might be nice but for me rubbed me the wrong way. there have been several things she’s done to explicitly communicate some kind of favoritism. i do find myself often handling her with avoidance, a weird disorganized close/far attachment dance, and a pattern of me not saying things and becoming resentful. she’s recently been a hot topic in my own therapy.
when it comes to the actual supervising, she is completely checked out. she will reschedule our regular meeting time OFTEN. she is 7-15 minutes late every. single. time. when i come to her with complex conceptual questions or high acuity cases the only didactic feedback i have gotten is “try these two worksheets” and “try asking more questions.” she will take up the entire weekly hour talking about herself and how overwhelmed she is if i don’t redirect. she will forget things we talk about week to week. she will acknowledge when i am burnt out but is not super willing to give much of a reprieve. i think she thinks im fine, which for the most part is true, but it feels like she’s not even trying to help or mentor me :( she also gets somewhat possessive and micromanage-y if i go to another supervisor within the clinic for help, and kind of speaks down on whatever guidance they do give.
i have made the decision to seek outside supervision to gain the guidance and mentorship i desperately need and that my clients deserve. i have a consultation set up with a recommendation from my own therapist and im really excited. the issue now is just letting my current one know. i will still meet with her for licensure requirements and still want to learn from her, it’s just the reality that she simply does not have the bandwidth or insight or time to properly facilitate my growth as a clinician in this moment.
any advice on how to openly communicate this to her would be helpful.