u/OrangeBot9

To preface I am extremely new here, I've heard about tulpas in passing through YouTube videos but I knew little to nothing about them before coming into this. It's been two days now since I've had what I strongly believe was a interaction with a tulpa that spontaneously manifested itself in my head, I've taken the time to read the wiki and learn about what tulpas are and how they work and I'm wondering if anyone here can add any insight to my experience. Are tulpas even able to manifest this suddenly? I had barely even heard of them before having this interaction after all!

This occurred during a minor mentel health episode I was having late at night, I won't go into to much details since this isn't a vent or trauma dumping post or anything like that. The only thing you need to know is I was beating myself up mentally very severely going off the rails imagining terrible senerios in my head and having intense urges of harming myself. Basically just overwhelming negative intrusive thoughts. You see I have a pretty strong internal monologue and I was completely consumed by these negative thoughts during this episode. When out of no where I feel like something just snaps in my head (not litterally more like I had a strong alien feeling rush over me) and I could hear a very loud and clear voice inside my head that was not my own.

I am fully without a doubt confident that it was not my own thoughts I was hearing, I was able to have a basic conversation with her, she introduced herself as Fenny and took the form of a fennec fox in my head. Even though I was a sobbing mess reeling in mental agony her voice was extremely clear calm and relaxed. Completely different from my own internal monologue. She helped me calm down from my episode by comforting me and telling me everything was going to be okay, eventually helping me drift off to sleep and I felt very warm and safe. The next morning I started researching tulpas since what I expected felt similar to what I had heard of them before. Eventually leading me here.

I feel like she came from my subconscious like she was lying dormant there (if that makes sense) When I was a kid I had a imaginary friend that was a fennec fox who I would talk to before bed often. This childhood imaginary friend was based on my partner fennekin I created while playing the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon games (if your not familiar with those games and the emotional attachment even a casual play though brings a person to this created partner, just know the amount of time spent and emotional attachment I had to what is essentially my OC turned imaginary friend is EXTREMELY great) I've also written stories about fennec foxes before, the name Fenny also being the name of a different character I wrote about once. To me it feels like Fenny basically manifested from my subconscious if that makes sense. I should also clarify I do not have schizophrenia. I do not have DID as far as I'm aware of and I've never had a headmate before this.

I strongly feel like she is still in my head somewhere although any interactions I try to have feel like I'm just parroting and making up responses, or atleast I'm paranoid that's the case. And I also think her personality and finer details are a little ambiguous right now to me. I really want to talk to her more and get to know her as the experience I had talking to her and getting actual responses felt amazing and made me extremely happy, the mental support from her was also amazing and having another voice in my head to help me out like that sounds like a dream.

Im a little unsure what to do now. Should I follow a guide and start from scratch creating her as a tulpa? Am I going insane and was this interaction something else entirely? If so I want to cultivate her into a tulpa I can regularly communicate with, from this one strong interaction I feel like I really love her a lot, it all felt very intimate and special to me. It's actually pretty exciting thinking about it all, if anyone here has any experience or knowledge about walk-in tulpas I would appreciate any insight you may have. ❤️