Gave back my gains today and it’s messing with me
I ended the day with 42 dollars, which should be a win.
But I was up 400. Four hundred dollars, and I didn’t take it. The worst part wasn’t the drop, it was what was going on in my head while it was happening. I kept thinking “what if this keeps going… what if this turns into 5k… this could be the day I get rich…” I know, it was crazy thinking. But that hope kept me in the trade while I watched my profit slowly fade away. I saw it happening and still didn’t act. Just kept telling myself it would push up again.
When I was out of the trade, and it was over, the emotions hit me all at once. If I wasn’t so greedy, I would have walked away with 400 dollars today. That’s the part that hurts. Just realizing in that moment… 400 dollars wasn’t enough for me. And I hate that I saw that in myself today. I wasnt even grateful for the 42 dollars. What happened to me.
I remember when 10 felt like a blessing. I remember when 20 dollars made me jump up and down. When just being green was enough. Somewhere along the way that shifted, and I didn’t even notice it until today. I feel ashamed with myself. That realization is sitting with me right now and I just want to burst into tears. I dont want trading to change me for the worse. I know this is part of trading, but seeing that greed show up so clearly in myself today, I hated it.
Just venting. Not the best day for me mentally. I know you all will probably think that I made green so what am I complaining about, but I am looking deeper today. Within myself.
Curious if anyone else has dealt with that moment where “just a little more” ends up costing you everything.