Being mediocre is killing me. Writing this post as 3 am in the morning cuz these thoughts wont let me sleep peacefully. What am i supposed to do?
Will try keep it short. I am turning 19 this year. And all my life i have been a mediocre piece of shit
*Liked basketball in school. Got dropped from the school team
*Never scored 90% in school (except for class 10th board where i got 93 some how which isn't very impressive either)
*Took a drop for jee and only managed 97.1 percentite which is around 45k-46k. Which is obviously mediocre. And dont give me the "you're in top 3% of the country" crap. Only 2 lakh students are GENIUENLY prepared for this exam, So, i am barely in the top 25%.
*Jee adv went pretty bad, probably wont get any IIT
*Definitely below average looking.
All this while I never used insta or other social media apps (except Yt obviously cuz lectures)
and i recently downloaded insta and started following some school friend. I saw their stories (or highlights idk what were those) and i realised that i neither accomplished something in life through hardwork nor enjoyed my life. All their stories made me so jealous. I wish i didnt worked hard and enjoyed my life instead, cuz either way i wont have accomplisshed anything in life.
Abb kisi average se college jaunga. no other option
I had a 2 seniors guys in coaching who were school going students and cracked jee with under AIR 500 in class 12th. And here i am, not getting anything even though i had an extra year. I wish i was as smart as those guys. What did those guys do? I too want to have great achievements in life. I too want to shine. Why cant i do it? why am i so mediocre? did god seal my fate to be a mediocre retard or something? These thoughts keeps me up at night these days. Cant rest properly even though this 3 years of jee hellhole is over
