I'm thinking about withdrawing for a semester
I'm a 19 year old second semester BSN student. I just got my grade back from a med surg exam I thought did so good on..I got a 48/73... my overall med surg grade went from a 75 to a 73. We need a 78 to pass our courses and move onto the next semester and I've already been anxious for a few weeks regarding my grades. We have two more exams and a final, but I don't think I can do this anymore, I don't think I'm capable, not right now. I was enjoying my lunch and texting my friend one minute, then I check my phone and the next minute my heart is pounding out of my chest and my voice is shaky. I ran to the nursing building and spoke to a former pathophysiology professor I ran into in the hallway and she told me that I need to email my professors and speak to my advisors if I fear doing badly. She really helped me and I really think gonna make my choice.. I was so scared of being set back before but I need to be realistic with myself. If I withdraw, it won't be permanent, but at least for a semester. Graduating late was my biggest fear before but it's genuinely a better option than literally failing out and having to start over. My dad died in June 2025, 4 days before my 19th birthday, after a 6-month fight in the hospital, and there's just been so much baggage mentally, financially, etc. Everything in this past year is putting way too much of a toll on me and I thought things would get better as time went on, but it's genuinely getting worse, even first semester I barely scrapped by. Im not performing at my best at all and Cs get degrees is not cutting it for my personal goals. I'm really unhappy with my performance and even having to engage with my nursing work immediately makes me so tired and upset. I don't want to be a C student. I know I'm smart, that I'm capable, that I can do more. If every semester I have to barely drift by and do below so many of my peers, and below my personal goals, I'm never going to be satisfied in this career. It'll be another hit to my self esteem and hope that I can be a good nurse. I don't want to be a "I think so" nurse, I want to know for a fact what I need to be competent. I keep hearing this phrase, "how can you help other people if you can't help yourself?", and it just keeps randomly coming up. Once I was in the library in my nursing scrubs, printing out some papers. It was cold outside and I didn't have a jacket. A random woman came up next to me and asked me where my jacket was, and I chuckled it off and said that I just forgot it that day. She told me that I needed my jacket and asked how I was going to help other people if I couldn't help myself? Hearing that phrase within a clinical setting or in lecture isn't weird, but that moment was. It hurts me to drift off the timeline I had in mind for myself, but I think this is what I need. I'm open to other pieces of advice or stories from those who have been in a similar spot, this is just a huge decision for me.