​
I’ve been thinking a lot about how quick we are to judge people without understanding what shaped them.
I have friends from all walks of life athletes, cops, CEOs, scammers, strippers, OFgirls, sreetwalkers, politicians… and when you actually sit down and hear their stories(most consider me a safe space), something hits you: In their shoes, with their upbringing, their environment, their trauma… you might have made the exact same choices.
I had a friend I never understood. Always in bad relationships, letting guys walk all over her. From the outside it made no sense. Later I found out her dad was abusive to both her and her mom. That was her “normal.” That was her version of love.
Another one, people judged her heavily for her choices. What they didn’t know is she was abused at 7 by someone in her own family, again as an adult other people including uncle took advantage of her situation. How do you even begin to process that at that age? How does that not affect how you see yourself and relationships?
I know someone in her early 20s dating a much older guy, 57years to be exact. Easy to judge until you realize going back home means going back to extreme poverty. Survival changes your priorities. Can I relate? NO! I was raised in abundance, why should I judge what I cannot understand?
A guy I grew up with ended up in armed robbery. He got shot later on. He knew the risks. But I also knew where he came from, the environment, the options he had (or didn’t have).
I’m not saying everything people do is right.
I’m saying most of us don’t have enough context to act like we’re better, It’s easy to say “I’d never do that” when life hasn’t tested you in that direction.
I’ve just learned to move with less judgment and more awareness. You don’t have to agree with people’s choices, but understanding where they come from changes how you see them.