Terrified of gaining weight if I start eating normal! Even with normal BMI?
So I had a really bad bout about a year ago. Lost a lot of weight, body was exhausted. Then I decided to recover because I had so many problems. Okay, started eating a bit more and eventually gave in to the extreme hunger. Queue 2 months ago when I noticed how much I gained (but actually really healthy bmi) and I hated how I looked. So back comes the restriction. I've now lost some, not extremely but I feel like my body can't go "so deep" anymore as last time. I feel like I need to eat, that I was barely recovered from last time. But I'm so so so scared that if I start eating normal again, I will be heavier than even right after recovery. It really makes me want to restrict more and more because then at least I have some leeway to gain some.
How can I eat more without gaining excessive weight? Because then the whole cycle starts again. Anyone else had this?