I feel like a failure.
I bought our house 25 years ago, it should be paid off, but 3 years ago I had to refinance to pay off credit cards (which I was loath to do because my interest rate went up) refinanced for a shorter time and Rocket Mortgage said I had a rate lock guarantee so if rates went down I could refinance and they would cover closing costs. I really didn’t see another way at the time. One income was/is killing me. I’m still looking for a better job but it’s rough at 50 in a rural area where salaries are stagnant but cost of living rivals more urban areas. I took an extra part time teaching job which has helped some, but it seems like even it gets absorbed, new water heater, trees have to be removed, maintenance in general and it seems like EVERYTHING has gone up the last 6+ years and has never gone back down! I know I can cut my spending and I’m trying but does anyone else live on 50K ish comfortably? I already felt like a failure with not being remarried or in a relationship for…really so long I cannot even type it. My kids are a huge bright spot, successful and our relationships are pretty good for the most part, even spouses! But as I would like to move closer to them (they have asked repeatedly), I’m struggling even there to find a job that pays me more to move. Plus my mother is still in my small town and I’m the only sibling here. So struggle with wanting to be closer to kids but feeling like I am abandoning her. She’s very independent, but there have been a couple of times it has been helpful for me to be here with a couple of urgent care visits. I and my kids have all tried to convince her to move also. I’ve tried counseling, I feel like hormones are off, but finding help in that area even seems hard, no one seems to care about hormones as much as just trying antidepressants, not a huge fan there.
I’ve been a single mom for years, I’m used to one or two things being chaotic but I just feel like everything is right now and whereas I used to relish SOME time on my own it’s just depressing lately-even with antidepressants being pushed! I feel like everyone around me is married, two incomes and have their lives together, even my kids! Which is fabulous and I consider that a huge blessing, I do not take that for granted, but man trying to break out of this gloom.
So I guess that was definitely my vent big time, but anyone gone through or going through similar?