did not come to my first scheduled day at work.
Today was supposed to be my first working day, and unfortunately, I did not arrive. I have just returned home and am feeling extremely distressed. I decided to write here because I have no one else with whom I can share these emotions. I feel overwhelmed and deeply disappointed in myself. I had been waiting for this job for a month, and a close relative helped arrange it. I feel particularly upset because I have let him down as well.
I find it difficult to describe what I’m feeling. At the moment, all I can think is that I am an unbearable person. I feel as if I want to disappear. Please do not misunderstand me — I simply feel that this situation once again proves that I am incapable. I was not late, I did not oversleep — I simply failed to take the correct bus. It seems so foolish, and it makes me feel even worse.
I do not know what will happen regarding the job. Even if they allow me to continue working, I fear that their perception of me will already be affected. The thought of this makes me feel unwell. I do not know what to do to make things right. I am not sure anyone will respond, but still — if someone can advise me on what to do, I would appreciate it.
I am writing this via a translator.