Tired of being treated like I must be settling
I (23F) am considered very conventionally attractive, but the men I’m attracted to tend to I guess be more “average” looking? I don’t go for them because I’m settling, I sincerely find them attractive both physically and emotionally. However, this could definitely be a reflection of my own self-esteem.
The issue is that a lot of these guys seem confused about why I like them. They’ll make comments trying to figure out how many “options” I have or whether I’m just desperate and settling for them, instead of believing I genuinely chose them.
It feels like they assume someone who looks like me couldn’t actually want someone like them. I’m a pretty girl who is very down to earth and shy, which is not a common combination so maybe that is why they assume that I am settling.
It’s become frustrating because the people I genuinely connect with seem intimidated by me or feel “not good enough,” and it makes dating really difficult. Has anyone else experienced this from either side? How do you navigate it? I feel like I have to go for guys now who are more physically attractive and “on my level”, but that feels so shallow.