u/No_Lawyer6195

I acknowledge this is probably just burn-out talking, and I should be more grateful for what I have, but I just need to let this out. ​

For context, I'm a veterinary student currently in my clinical year.

Maybe I'm just burnt out, but it feels like I spent my whole adult life "on the grind" just to get a career where I now have an obligation to always stay on the grind.

When I was younger, the whole "strong work ethic" thing was something I took pride in. But now, I keep asking myself, "what is the point?"

Yeah, I've "worked hard", but it feels like I dont have much to show for it. Hell, I've lost friends because i've been too caught up with my career to maintain a social life. I'm in an absurd amount of student debt. I live in a crappy student apartment where the AC never works and no one from maintenance will take care of it. And any sort of chance of a romantic relationship seems non-existant.

my old friends are maried, have families, are making money, and can devote time to their hobbies and interests, while I feel trapped. Sure, maybe i'm only seeing the "good parts" of their lives, but still, it's hard not to feel like i've fallen behind.

The worst part is, I don't even really get to help animals the way I want to. My school is trying to "increase profits", meaning all treatments we do are absurdly expensive (which is an unfortunate growing trend in veterinary medicine). As a student, I have no say of pricing and cant give any discounts, so I spend so much of my time getting yelled at by pet owners because my school has priced them out of caring for their pet. It sucks.

I want to graduate and work for sone sort of non-profit. They pay for me would suck, but thats never why I did this in the first place. I want to help animals, but I just feel so defeated and burnt out.

This is going to sound really dumb, but I think the isolation is just really getting to me.

I've never been a social person, but I think most people need at least a little social interaction to stay mentally okay.

Anyways, I'm on my veterinary school rotations, and my whole life has been swallowed up by my professional life. I work 50-60 hours a week in the clinic just to ho home every night and study for exams. My social life (which was already small to begin with) is now non-existant.

A while ago, my brother said he'd be in town this weekend, and offered to see a movie with me. I agreed and got really excited to see this movie. Today he told me he didn't really feel like it and wouldnt be making it tomorrow.

It just sucks. I know I could go to a movie alone, but it just feels so isolating. I thought id finally be able to see someone outside of a work setting, and it didn't happen. I spent so much time planning out how i'd make time to see this movie while still completing everything I need to get done this weekend.

This is so embarasing, but I honestly feel like im about to cry over this, and it feels so stupid.

I hate feeling this isolated.

For context, I'm a veterinary student currently on rotations with APD and ADHD.

The problem is, my APD makes me come across as uncertain and slow because I can't talk quick, and stumble over my words when talking. It really makes it sound like I don't know what i'm talking about, even when I do.

So, when i'm assighned as primary veterinarian on a case, I feel like my secondary and technicians end up taking over because I speak poorly and ask people to repeat information constantly to make sure I understand.

I'm in a field full of very smart people who speak and think quickly, and I feel like I stick out as "slow" and lacking confidence.

It makes it especially hard to advocate for my patients when I disagree with my peers assessment. For example; I had a dog come in that I believed was suffering from neurological issues, while my secondary disagreed. I couldnt argue my case effectively because of my APD, and it took a neuro specialist seeing my patient and agreeing with me for my secondary to finally trust my judgment.

I just wish people took me more seriously and saw me as more of a "leader" in my career.