I want to end relationship with my boyfriend every single month
Hi everyone.
My period will start in a few days, and now I'm sitting at work and all I want to do is just want to burst into tears, but I have to hold myself together. It just got so bad that I need to vent.
For the last few months every time my period is approaching I just want to end my current relationship once and for all. I'm just so unhappy and seems like my gut is telling me that there is no sense in continuing my relationship because I will end up being miserable.
My boyfriend is smart and rational, but he really struggles with being empathetic (most probably due to his upbringing, his parents never supported him emotionally, he had to cope with all sad feelings on his own). Emotional support in general is a very alien concept for him. Also we have different views on money, my family always puts happiness and joy of your loved ones above everything else, while his family is very stingy. For him financial boundaries stand above everything else, and I kind of had to adjust and stop being generous with him, because I won't receive same treatment back. I just didn't want to get hurt again. We still exchange pretty expensive gifts on birthdays and Christmas though, so everything is not that bad.
I just get completely lost a week before period. I really feel that we're so different that there is no point in staying together, and that this relationship will never be fulfilling for me, and we got together just because of loneliness. I'm tired of giving him very precise instructions for supporting me emotionally each and every time I need that from him. I am just tired and I want to cry my eyes out.
I told him hundreds of times how checking up on me online during the day is important for me, and he again doesn't do that. At this point I just feel that I force him to give me attention when he doesn't see any point in it. We work in the same office, I told him so many times that having coffee together once a day for a few minutes and catching up is important for me, and AGAIN HE DOESN'T DO THAT.
Sometimes he comes up with lame excuses, like "I didn't have time to text you/having coffee". But of course he went out on his damn smoke breaks a few times.
Yesterday he was busy for the whole day and brought me flowers and baked goodies when he came back home, he's not that horrible. But I'm so upset that I don't get the attention and care when I need it most.
Seems like I can keep peace in relationship only if I will be silently crying my eyes out and bottling up everything, otherwise he will get defensive again and another fight will start.