u/No-Election5723

My mom isn’t home rn, so me and dad are taking care of the house. Yesterday when I got up to heat the food (boiled eggs, beef and some veggies) she made beforehand, dad stopped me and said he’d clean the glass bowl or I’d break it. I yelled at him saying I’m not clumsy and I can absolutely wash it without breaking it. (Every time my dad says something like that it reminds me of him, I miss his attention and how he used to say I'm capable of stuff. My dad is weird af ugh he never understood me like he did.) Fast forward...I uh...accidentally broke the glass bowl...

Today we both forgot to heat up the dishes she made and ended up throwing them away (except the rice, it still looked edible...kinda). Couldn’t even tell mom or she’d get mad at us, so we just had rice with soda and some fruits. REMINDED ME OF HIM, HE LOVES SODA.

Later, my aunt invited us for lunch and even packed dinner for us (love her sm). Around 11 pm, mom called saying she might come home tonight. We asked my grandma to cook some extra rice and gave her three full cups of rice...later when she asked about the “celebration" we realized three full cups of white rice is way too much for one person...especially someone with diabetes (my mom). HIS MOM HAS DIABETES AS WELL.

Around 12 she said she’s not coming home, and now we’re just sitting in front of this pot of rice, wondering what to do with it cuz the fridge is full...

Oh and yeah...my dad still doesn’t know I broke the bowl...

Isn't it evil and tbh disgusting to abandon an avoidant MULTIPLE times? I swear some of anxious people are beyond evil. He did it knowing I'm avoidant and that doing this might cause lifelong damage. I never left, not even once...yes, I had urges to push him away, yes, I told him to find someone better cuz I felt like I'm not enough but instead of assuring me and telling me you'd stay, you disappeared- oh no, you did say you'll stay...you promised and then left, then came back begging me to take you back and give you the dopamine hit you were missing.

And guess what? I took him back like a pathetic loser. Disgusting. I'm not disgusted with you, I still love you. I'm disappointed in myself. This is why we're scared to commit. Not saying all people with anxious attachment are bad, but some of them are. Despite that they all get treated like babies online just cause you have panic attacks/anxiety attacks. As if I don't want to rip my head off every time I feel like I'm getting more and more attached. Can't even fucking open up, makes me feel like shit and so unsafe I just want to stop this pain but sure avoidants are evil.

Yk what? I agree. Please stay away if you can't be a puppy and never leave me- no just stay away. Fucking disgusting. Oh lol and the audacity to act like the victim...

Edit: it's kinda sad seeing people not know about types of attachment styles and the possibilities