u/Nilahit

My Blighted Crown

(TW). Would appreciate feedback on the pacing/syllables. This is only like my 2nd poem and Ive never been a creative soul. Thanks.

forged in the heart of stars

designed by mighty Mars

in His divine image

or so say the village

 

flayed bare while fires hot

know oneself I shall not

woe bade me by that knife

bear the scars for my life

 

unmade by those whose love

knew more than He above

ward from ill I would not get

maiden's gaze lest be upset

 

don't dare complain

is the refrain

best pure and frail than late

why have say in your fate

 

every smile brings pain

quite hard to explain

punished for pleasure

the harshest measure

 

won't find relief

source of my grief

my body but your choice

leave myself with no voice

 

left nought but one option

the final concoction

may you cast your dry eyes down

and behold my blighted crown

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u/Nilahit — 2 days ago