u/Nighthound_radio

Content warning: Zombie-related violence. Themes of infidelity.

Link

Hi all,

This is meant as a script for a YouTube horror story channel. That's why there are sound effect notes. The first episode of Outbreak Files is already out on YouTube. Thank you all for your critiques. I'm not going to post the episode link here because of the self-promotion rules.

This is the second episode. It doesn't fit too much into the larger story, I just thought it was a fun idea for a one-off episode. A big piece of criticism I received on the last one was there there wasn't enough differentiation in terms of lore and different types of zombies. I tried to include a bit of the lore this time but I didn't get to different types of zombies.

Questions

• Does Carla have a strong voice?
• What I'm trying to convey to the reader is that Carla's plan is reckless, stupid even, and she probably would have gotten caught if it weren't for the zombies. Does that come across or does her plan come across as bad writing?
• Does the story basically make sense?
• How is the story, tonally? I feel like there's an element of black comedy in this story that I didn't necessarily intend but I don't really mind.
• How could the story be improved?

Critiques:

[1290] Towerborn

[2050] Daughter of Wrath Ch 3