Hello everyone! I have a question on the topic of condolences with stillbirth. Just a warning, this might be a bit of a sensitive topic for some.
I’m a working student from Italy, and I lived with a host family in Germany ten years ago (during an exchange year). That’s when I met the children. We didn’t stay in close contact (partly because some of them no longer lived in the house), but we did stay in touch a little.
Last week, I was told that the wife of one of the children suffered an unexpected stillbirth very late in her pregnancy (about a week before the due date) and nearly died in the process. That’s why I’d like to offer my condolences. I had the idea of sending a small bouquet of flowers with a card. Is that appropriate? And what should I write on the card?
I’m a bit confused because the rules here are different from what I’m used to. In Italy, for example, it wouldn’t be appropriate to write the child’s name because the child “was never alive.” Things like “Condolences on the loss of Markus” (Markus is just a placeholder name here) wouldn’t be appropriate either. But not writing such things feels wrong.
Could you please give me some advice? What should I do in this case, especially for people I was never close to but lived with?