I’m looking for some support and perspective. I recently had a bad reaction to a mood stabilizer and stopped taking it about two weeks ago. It sent me into a severe episode where my brain completely turned against my husband.
I became obsessed with "investigating" him. I went through his old emails and found a woman from his military past (2006) who believed he was the father of her child. I tracked her and the daughter down on social media and messaged them behind his back.
On top of the obsession, the hypersexuality hit me hard. I got on dating apps, scheduled dates, and tried to seek out strangers. My therapist pointed out that I was basically trying to blow up my life so I could "escape" and cheat because my brain convinced me I was bored and unhappy.
I feel so much guilt and I’m terrified of divorce. For those of you in long-term relationships, how do you move forward after an episode involving emotional or physical infidelity? Is it possible to become trustworthy again?