I slowly realized my friend wasn’t ‘bad at texting’... just bad at texting me
I had a friend who constantly replied late to me. Not “busy for a day” late. I mean weeks. Sometimes months.
Every time she came back, she apologized. Every single time. And every single time, it kept happening.
At first, I tried to be understanding. I thought maybe I was texting too often, so I limited myself to weekends only. My messages still sat unanswered for weeks.
Then I thought maybe I should stop initiating altogether and let her come to me first.
But even that turned strange.
She would reach out first, ask how I was doing, start a conversation... and then disappear in the middle of it. No explanation. No response. Just silence for weeks or months again.
The whole time, I could still see her active in our group chat. Laughing, replying, making plans, offering one-on-one time to other people in the group.
Last year, she disappeared around March and randomly resurfaced in May with a long email full of life updates as if no silence had happened at all. That was the first time I finally admitted it hurt me. I told her honestly that if she didn’t have the capacity to maintain a friendship with me, I wished she wouldn’t keep reopening the door only to disappear again.
A few months later, in November, she messaged me asking how I was. I answered. She vanished again and left my message unopened for months.
She saw my Merry Christmas message and never replied.
Then this March, I saw photos of her having coffee with another person from our group chat. That same day, she sent me a short apology saying she’d been “dealing with things.”
I later found out from that same friend that she actually responds to her consistently and lets her know when she needs space instead of disappearing.
That realization hurt more than the silence itself.
Because at some point you stop feeling “forgotten” and start realizing you’re just not a priority to someone who keeps wanting access to you anyway.
I never replied to her last apology. I just quietly let the friendship go.
And honestly, I still don’t know if I’m overreacting or if I simply got tired of begging for basic consideration.