Hi all,
I am writing a screenplay based on the life of Catullus (virtually complete now) and am trying to refine my own translations of some of his poems for the screen.
An immediate problem is obviously that for a modern audience, some of Catullus' verse - however modern it may be in spirit and tone, can sound 'clunky' if trying to fit a modern register. And so, with this mind, I was wondering whether I could prevail on you to take a look at my translation for the screen of Poem 1? And yes, I'm fully aware of any liberties/artistic license that I'm taking. I guess what I'd like to know is whether it's 'beyond the pale'.
Many thanks in anticipation,
--Mark
Cui dono lepidum novum libellum
arida modo pumice expolitum?
Corneli, tibi: namque tu solebas
meas esse aliquid putare nugas.
iam tum, cum ausus es unus Italorum
omne aevum tribus explicare cartis
doctis, Iuppiter, et laboriosis!
Quare habe tibi quidquid hoc libelli—
qualecumque, quod, o patrona virgo,
plus uno maneat perenne saeclo!
---
Whom to dedicate this elegant little book to
only just now polished to a fine finish
but you, Cornelius.
For you always did think
that my mutterings meant something,
Even though you, the only man in Italy
who dared try to set down our whole history
in three learned volumes - and gods,
what must have been the labour of it.
So have this little book,
whatever it is,
and whatever its worth.
Only please dear muse -
Let it survive unceasing,
for more than a hundred years.