In Loving Memory of Blu
Today I said goodbye to Blu.
Last night he experienced another severe redirected aggression episode after seeing a cat outside. I intervened after he started going after my other cat again. While trying to slowly walk him back and separate him, he escalated, ran up a broom handle, and bit me hard enough that I ended up in the ER. (Tonight as I write this I am back as it has gotten worse.)
This was not an isolated incident. Over the years there had been multiple aggression events involving me, my other cat José, and guests. I adapted my household around it for a long time because I loved him deeply and hoped management would continue to work. But the reality was that the household had become centered around preventing the next escalation.
After speaking honestly with the vet this morning about the full history, she stated clearly that euthanasia was the best and safest path forward. That was devastating to hear, but part of me already knew it.
Blu helped me survive one of the darkest periods of my life. After my previous cat Patrick died and my life collapsed in other ways, Blu attached himself to me intensely. He was difficult, volatile, loud, possessive, and deeply bonded to me all at once. He chose me as his person, and I chose him as my cat.
I stroked him while he passed. I thanked him for being there during those years. I told him he was loved.
I am grieving him tonight, but I am also at peace with the decision. The bond was real. The danger had also become real.
For now, it will just be me and my mackerel tabby continuing forward together.
Thank you to everyone who offered advice, prayers, compassion, and hard truths over the last 24 hours.