Coping with anger
When I was pregnant with my son, his dad accused me of cheating and demanded a paternity test. I was furious and vented alot to my mom. I said many times to her face things like "What kind of garbage woman would trick a man into raising a man into raising another man's baby?! That's the worst thing you can do to 3 whole other people including the man that wouldn't know he even had a kid". Our relationship didn't last long since he believed I was the type of person to do that.
Well, 11 years later, turns out, it was my mom, she did that. I did an ancestry dna kit and I thought I was OK with it at first. Then I found out my bio father has been dead since 2013 and I can't even find a picture of him. Luckily, the dad that raised me is amazing and reassured me that nothing has changed, but a part of me is just heartbroken.
There was a man that deserved to know. My dad deserved to know when I was born so he could have had a choice to raise me or not. I have been so angry at my mother for taking that from them and I don't know how to cope. I also have a genetic eye disease that is causing me to go blind that doesnt run on my mother's side. I dont know if I would have had a child if I'd have known. I got pregnant before my diagnosis, so I didn't know it was a risk.
I found 2 half brothers but can't find any way to contact them to get any more health info. I really just want to rage and yell at my mother but there has to be a better way to deal with all this.