Was my female colleague overreacting?
Full disclosure: I am a dual UK-Aussie citizen and everything that took place in this post happened here in Australia. But I would like some feedback from back home.
I (30m) am neurodivergent and I work at a research institute while I'm attending grad school. I work together with a researcher, "K" (34f). K is ethnically South Korean with a Japanese background, and she looks like an adorable anime girl (I'm a huge weeb and I'm proud lol). In case it isn't obvious, I am into her. K is the only woman in our research unit but she gets along fine with the guys. She's been eztremely supportive of me both professionally and personally, and although she's perfectly healthy herself, she's always available whenever I have issues because of my mental conditions.
Earlier this month, we had a lockdown due to a threat that did turn out to be genuine, but it was resolved. K and I were required to remain in the same room together with two other employees who I'm friends with (they are 27m and 26m and this is relevant because, to me, younger people just aren't intimidating or scary). We were just stuck in a room that didn't have AC and K was sweaty, so she took her shirt off and she stripped down to a spaghetti strap sports bra and her pants. This is where things went downhill. One of the guys, the 26m one, patted her back in a joking sort of manner. It wasn't really violent but it was enough to make K go "oh god".
Nothing else happened besides me making a joke to my two friends about how the three of us were stuck in a confined area with a cute, nearly-naked woman. K laughed at this joke, but afterwards, when she was bending down, she noticed that the guys were staring down her sports bra. At this point, she started crying, and she said "oh my god please". She spent the next several hours just crying nonstop, and she sometimes kept her arms crossed around her chest, and she also tried covering her shoulders with her hands. She was sweating so much the entire time and she was also shaking, and it was the first time I've seen her in a non-flattering context. But she remained in her sports bra and pants for the several hours we spent stuck in the room, and she never bothered to put her shirt back on.
Besides that one instance where my friend touched her back, nobody thought about laying a finger on K.