Update: Disneyland during Grad Nite with my toddler (what actually worked for us)
Update to my earlier freakout about realizing our trip overlapped with Grad Nite. We just got back and it was a lot less chaotic than I expected, so I wanted to share what helped in case anyone else is staring at their calendar in horror.
We did two days at Disneyland and one at DCA with our 2 year old. On the Grad Nite days the mornings felt pretty normal. We rope dropped Fantasyland and hung out in the kid areas until lunch. By early afternoon you could feel the vibe shift as more teens arrived, so we used that as our cue for a long hotel break. That nap window saved the afternoon and kept me sane.
Coming back around dinner, the parks were busier and louder, but not unsafe-more stop and go than anything. A few things that made a big difference for us:
We prioritized shows, rides with continuous loading, and attractions with indoor queues after 5 pm.
We ate earlier than usual, around 4:30, to avoid the dinner crush.
For fireworks we did not camp out. We watched from an open spot while walking, which was way easier with a stroller.
We skipped the late-night teen-heavy headliners and saved those for our non-Grad Nite DCA day.
If you have a toddler and cannot avoid those dates, my takeaway is treat it like a split day: do your must-dos before mid afternoon and plan a long quiet break. Happy to answer any specific logistics questions.