u/Naataraja — reddlx

I want to start this off by saying I work for a partner that’s got powerful aura- the guy is a badass veteran, real black ops stuff and plaques all around his office that look like something from the first Call of Duty Black Ops, very smart guy, very commanding, super important position in our firm, a great great leader- I love this guy.

Now - I’m in my office and I’m on a roll in the zone working and billing and I feel my bladder filling and I’m like- I can hold this, I’m in the zone, I can’t get up to go to the bathroom yet. So I continue working and working and like 2 hours goes by and I finish sending my last email then boom laptop closed. And when I get up I realize - oh my God, my bladder is about to burst I am one thought away from accidentally going #1 in my pants. So I waddle to the bathroom like a penguin, my bladder hurt so much. I open the door the the bathroom and this is where my waking nightmare began.

I open the door and this is the universe: the aforementioned partner I respect and admire and is my direct boss had walked in just moments before so he is about 3 paces ahead of me, there are only two urinals in the bathroom, the stalls are in use, my boss is now walking to one of the urinals. I realize that he and I will pee side by side, no biggie- right? But that being said, it’s also our first time peeing side by side- and I don’t want things to be awkward but also now my bladder is screaming at me. I stand there at my urinal and we don’t acknowledge each other but I am positive that his military situational awareness picked up on it being me right next to him. He begins to pee with strong force and the sound fills the whole bathroom. The worst possible idea entered my mind: “he just started peeing, I’m here and I haven’t started peeing yet… he knows that he’s peeing but he also knows I’m not peeing yet” and then I think- “what if he thinks I’m a shy pee-er.” And that’s ridiculous- I KNOW I’m not a shy pee-r, it’s never once happened to me, plus my bladder is about to burst and I can’t hold it any more. I want to work for this man and he can’t think in his head that I’m a shy pee-r because that would ruin me, even though I know he is honorable to not share this with others if he did think I was one, it would be carved into his memory forever as a permanent parameter influencing however slightly our work relationship going forward.

But seconds passed, and I realized that oh my God… I felt a mental block formed spontaneously and I couldn’t go. He peed for what sounded like an eternity- and the whole time, there I stood, frozen looking forward at the texture of the wall. The bathroom sounded of only one stream, not two, to my humiliation. He zipped up and walked away- the silence was deafening, as deafening as the stream if not moreso. He washed his hands and walked out. And as soon as that bathroom door closed behind him, my bladder let go.

It was devastating.

But thankfully, the wheel of fortune turned. After I went, I headed to the elevators to leave. He was there and we struck up a very funny conversation and it cut the imaginary tension in my head and we both had a good chuckle.

This job is a roller coaster.