Help with composing a passage
Salve!
I am composing a passage for part of a project I am doing that will ultimately be gifts for two of my professors. I would appreciate some feedback and advice before I send it to another professor so he can look it over.
I am aiming to have the emphasis to be on the teacher, the teacher and everything referring to the teacher to me in the masculine, the student and the verbs and such relating to the student(s) to be in the feminine, and I would appreciate advice on a double frequentative to insert somewhere. One of the professors let it drop after I had put this together that he loves double frequentatives.
The Latin I have is:
"Bonus magister discipulas suos non solum rem docet, sed etiam cupititas et ardarem discipularum fovet. Is benignus est, sed non nimis benignus. Is utilis est, sed disciplulas sias in se ipsos stare facit. Is libertatem promovet, sed discipulae suas securitatem dat. Illus quam plur magnus magister est, est matronum et dux."
The English translation is supposed to be:
"A good teacher not only teaches his students the subject, but also fosters the desire and passion of his students. He is kind, but not too kind. He is helpful, but makes his students stand on their own. He promotes freedom, but gives his students security. He is more than a great teacher, he is a mentor and leader."