Is this separation anxiety in my 4 month old?
Hy husband and I are first time parents to our beautiful 4 month old. I want to know if her behavior shows separation anxiety or if what i am doing will cause attachment issues later on. I feel like a bad mom sometimes. For context my (60+) year old mom lives with us and my sister visits our home at least 1 time per week so LO has a lot of exposure to them from birth. I am also in full time university and had to go to class for 2 days a week. I mainly breastfeed and suppliment with formula.
- when I started going to classes I had to leave my 1 month old at the time with my mom for more than 5 hours twice per week. school was over an hour away due to where we live and program availability. She is now 4 months now and as a result she would cry uncontrollably till I got home. this lasted for the past 3 months now.
- anytime I leave the house now for any length of time she cries a lot and refuses to stay with my mom. when my sister comes she cries significantly less or not at all. if my husband is home alone with her she is perfectly fine if I leave for any length of time. Some days if I leave her when I need a break to hang out with friends or grocery shop is heartbreaking for me knowing she might be losing it at my absences. I've had family and people i know say to let her cry it out but I refuse knowing that I want her to have a healthy attachment to me as her mom.
Am I leaving her for too long or frequently? are people valid in just letting young babies cry it out if they miss you? Any advice is appreciated 🙏