Therapeutic Idea
THE PUNCHING BAG
For Business Owners...or anyone Who Need to Yell at Someone Who Won't Cry (Or Sue)
Here is my pitch..
Are you a business owner? Do you wish you could take your frustration out on your employees, your suppliers, your landlord, or just... anyone... without getting arrested, cancelled, or slapped with an HR violation?
Well, now you can.
Introducing "THE PUNCHING BAG" (I'm the bag.)
How It Works:
You text me. You email me. You voice-note me a furious, barely coherent rant about how Kevin in accounting breathes too loud.
You tell me everything. The ugly stuff. The stuff you can't say out loud.
And I respond. 🫡
What I Do
I absorb your rage. I am a verbal punching bag made of meat and a phone.
I reply with the most humbling, validating, "you're so right, boss" or "omg you he's such a dumbass" energy you've ever experienced.
I will never push back(unless you request), never unionize, and never report you to HR.... Because I am HR.
Pricing Tiers:
The "Just Let It Out" Plan: One furious text, one humbling reply. $15.
The "I Need to Yell for 10 Minutes" Voice Note Package: You scream, I listen, I send back a single voice note that just says "Wow. They really don't deserve you." $50.
The "Corporate Retreat from Hell" Bundle: A full weekend of you sending unhinged emails at 3 AM, and me replying by sunrise with a detailed, humbling PowerPoint on why you're a genius and everyone else is a fool. $500. Yes A PowerPoint
The Monthly Tier: For $900 Month you get unlimited support. Weekly PowerPoints With Graphics On How You're A Genius. Personalized Newsletters. NSFW Rants.
Best of all its completely anonymous and even if it wasn't I probably wouldn't have a clue what you're talking about anyway depending on what market you work in.
Guarantee
I am the colleague who never tells, never talks back, and only exists to make you feel like the sane powerful visionary you are. 🫠
So What yall think... can this work or am I eatin roman noodles again 💀