a couple of months before my husband and i got married, i met up with a friend who had recently tied the knot and they shared a bunch of significant problems that they were navigating with their husband. i remember it made my stomach drop & i was so anxious that the first year of marriage would be a gauntlet.
my husband and i didn't live together before marriage, but now we’re almost a year in and nothing has changed? i‘m not sure if it’s because we were together over 3 years before we got married, because we negotiated a lot of our conflict tendencies and other issues before then, but we have adjusted with minimal issues. we’ve only had 2 larger conflicts since then, and both were resolved the way we always have (sharing our hurt with one another and talking things through).
why is there so much fear-mongering around marriage, and the first year in particular??? (aka - why don’t people get married to people they actually just enjoy being around and get along with)