Does “inner work” has anything to do with Freemasonry
When I was young, I had a dear friend who unfortunately died due to an aneurysm. After he passed his father contacted me, to talk about his son. I’ve studied a lot at this time, but I wasn’t ready, despite of all my studies and mental issues.
I thought I understood what his father, a master mason was saying, I had many biased views, due to conspiracy theories at home.
I went through a lot in my 20’s until in my early fifties. Leaving fundamental Christianity, I was without anything but myself.
I started to get to know myself, but my viewpoints were distorted. I’ve started researching many religions and trying to see connections, but they are still blurred. I’ve tried to discover what are the enemies within, lack of selfworth, trying to fix my inner blockages. But upright about my intentions. What do I want to accomplish within Freemasonry?
Facing the Self is frightening, because I only saw the Shadow of parts of myself, not the light that throws a shadow, because of my point of View, the blockage.
Does this even have to anything do with Freemasonry? I just wanted to share my thoughts. Maybe is has nothing to do with Freemasonry, not even my vast knowledge, not even my intuition or emotional point of view. All I think about “Nosce te ipsum”, know thyself. Does this make any sense?
At this point it seems symbols, meanings, ‘secrets’ have no meaning. But still, there’s still a huge black space of the unknown. I really love symbolism, meaning, Kabbalah etc. I studied all that stuff for decades. The drawing towards Freemasonry, where does it come from? From what I’ve studied, becoming a better person, have meaningful conversations, have more insight, the rituals? I’m not yet there? I don’t want to despair about The Big Question. I’ll have to find that one myself, not knowing why people like William Stukeley wanted to become a Mason. I think it was their personal interest in learning the secrets of ages, from Egypt to the Druids and any other interest that might have triggered their application to the Craft.
A master told me recently: “it’s about yourself, what is your reason you want to become a Mason”. He asked me not about, knowledge, IQ, hobbies or my accomplishments.
The deepest question. Maybe I’ll find that answer in time. I just wanted to be a better, more compassionate I already am), upright person. Not for any title, advancement or anything else. I want to break down my leaky house and start from rockbottom. My knowledge is strength but also the biggest weakness.