u/MistakeRepeater

Intentionez sa merg singur vara asta si as dori sa stiu daca are rost sa car cu mine un spray anti fiare.

I was in a dark place a couple of years ago. Suicidal thoughts actually. But when those thoughts arroose, I kept telling myself: don't listen to them, it's the histamine talking. Fight.

I was planning on decapitating myself on the train rails.

2 years later... I got my job back, have money, but still sick.

At least I don't depend on other people trying to force SSRIs down my throath. I did SSRIs a while back. Fuck em.

So... I realized that I'm actually depresseed because of that fkin moment 2 years ago.

.

Honestly, the physical & emotional depression from MCAS I had 2 years ago was unbearable. But it doesn't compare to the actual emotional damage that moment inflicted on me..Got myself into drinking again, 2 days ago.

The drinking doesn't matter, even though it does.

The point of this post is: you're figting a heavy battle.

Hope is your best ally.

Maybe meditate. Fuck knowa where that'll lead to