Need advice
I’ve been struggling with my ocd for the last 4 months of my life and it’s genuinely ruining my everyday life and I don’t even feel like myself anymore. I’ve experienced obsessions with certain things when I was younger, mainly flickering lights a certain amount of times otherwise otherwise I wouldn’t be able to sleep, constantly asking others to taste something to ensure it’s not “poisoned”, I even had a hyperfixation with my eyes and I was worried everytime I’d pass a car windshield fluid would get in my eye and I’d go blind. Well for maybe 6 years of my life I wasn’t experiencing any of that anymore I finally felt normal. I had an occasional thought or worry but it was never extreme and it never lingered.
But ever since I started university I’ve started experiencing it all over again but to such an extreme. My obsession with my eyes is back, and the worst part is I can’t even wear my contacts anymore (which I’ve worn for 3 years prior without a worry or any infections) without thinking something bads gonna happen. I’m worried about scratching my eye, or getting something in my eye or having a serious infection. And it sucks because I love wearing my contacts so I don’t have to wear my glasses. But the amount of stress and worry I have when wearing them is too much and often times I don’t wear them anymore. Also just the worry of touching something “contaminated”. I’ll touch a surface that is dusty or dirty and I’ll immediately spiral into thinking I’ve somehow accidentally poked myself with a rusty nail (even though there clearly isn’t one there) or I’m gonna get something sort of disease or infection just by touching something. It’s literally made everything a nightmare and I make it worse by constantly searching on google whether something I did is harmful or if I’m gonna get sick, and even when I get reassurance I ask a million other questions. Sometimes I feel like I forget if I even do something, like washing my hands. I’ll ask myself did I really wash my hands? What if I didn’t and I just ate my food with unwashed hands and I’ll get sick. If anyone’s experienced this and has any advice on what to do please let me know, I genuinely don’t know how much longer I can go with this it’s getting worse day by day and I need to find something to help manage it. I tried therapy I don’t think it was much help. Is the next step trying medication or should I just try to let it pass?