24M I think social media misunderstood relationship roles and made everything a gender war
​ I’m 24M, and honestly, I feel social media has made men and women misunderstand each other way too much nowadays. Everything becomes a gender war before people even try to understand each other properly.
I think people often confuse toxic behaviour with relationship roles. For me, the real issue was never traditional vs modern lifestyles. The real issue is disrespect, control, manipulation, emotional neglect, superiority complexes, and treating your partner like they matter less.
A toxic person can exist in a modern relationship too, and a loving, respectful person can also exist in a traditional setup. Roles alone don’t decide relationship quality, people do.
My parents are 57M and 54F and have been married for decades. My mom handles most household responsibilities while my dad is better with finances, but nobody in my house treats her like she has less value because of that. Financial decisions, trips, investments, and family matters are all discussed together. Sometimes her opinion matters more than everyone else’s lol.
That’s why I never understood why some people online act like handling household responsibilities automatically reduces someone’s freedom, intelligence, individuality, or importance.
And if roles were reversed, I’d still feel the same way. If my partner is better at finances, I’d happily let her lead that area. If I’m better at cleaning, I’ll clean because I genuinely like a clean house. If she has career dreams that don’t fit traditional expectations, I’d support her and try to balance life together somehow.
I also think social media pushes everything to extremes because extreme opinions get more engagement. A lot of influencers nowadays intentionally post rage bait about men, women, dating, traditional roles, feminism, masculinity, etc. because controversy gives them views, comments, followers, and attention. Then teenagers and young people consume that content every day and slowly start believing all men or all women think the same way.
One side acts like every traditional relationship is unhealthy, while the other side acts like every modern relationship is wrong. Because of that, people judge each other too quickly without understanding individuals properly, and it just creates more hate and division between genders online.
I’ve seen girls instantly dislike traditional roles because they connect them with negativity, and I’ve also seen boys instantly judge modern girls without understanding them as people first. I feel people nowadays struggle to separate behaviour from roles. At the end of the day, I think a bad partner can ruin any type of relationship, while a good, respectful, understanding partner can make both modern and traditional lifestyles beautiful.
How do you personally separate healthy traditional relationships from controlling ones?