You know what I’m jealous of
I feel so jealous of the people who love each other and at the end, they get to marry each other. Socials ma I see my friends, someone I know, they’re in a relationship and I see them getting married. I see their pictures. They look so happy. I’m not that close with them but I feel really happy that it worked for them. But at the same time, I’m so jealous of them.
I was in a relationship for 10 years. I thought we’d eventually get married one day. Although I was an anti-marriage person seeing how my parents ended up. But, I thought I could do it if it was with him. But yk things never go the way you want them to.
Aile seeing other people getting married to their loved ones, I get jealous, not of what they got but that I’ll never get to experience it ever. I actually don’t wanna get married now because I don’t think I’ll trust anyone enough. Maybe deep down I want to, but it’s my defense mechanism speaking cuz they’ll never love me the way I want to be loved. No guarantee they’ll stay the same and not change. I’ve tried to talk to few people but everyone wants a f*ckin situationship. I’m so done. I’ll just stay single my whole life.