Spoilers ahead, kind of. I have finished MoG and FoB and started Livesuit (33% of the way in), so if you're not this far don't spoil yourself
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At the part where Wong/Wang (I'm all audiobook) is introduced and his demonstration of the 'Sleeve Snake' makes it clear that the Livesuit is the Deathless Enemy.
Ie the Suit-Lichen was powerless without the five aspect-ed thing, but after it was able to glom onto something w fives it was ready to go (in this case a stylus with five appendages).
When the Carryx describe the deathless enemy, they describe it as having "five aspects", which is a requirement for locomotion and environment-impact.
The three examples we've seen are
Humans - two legs, two arms, a head (which is not needed for 'head things' anymore, ie eating seeing hearing breathing)
Octopus thing - five appendages
Stylus Wong throws on the table - five appendages.
You see that in the Campar chapter in Faith of Beasts, checking out the command ship w Vaudan and Gotti (sp?). The live-suited octopus thing isn't at 100% because it lost two appendages. Ie without the five aspects to establish a base and impact the environment, it's less effective. It can still get around but it's clunkier.
It's not really 'leading' anything, it's just more or less along for the ride. But judging by the Jellyn chapters in the cave, it's generally a 'leader' in any group it's in, because of its abilities.
Sort of like an Elite Commisar type matrixed presence, but doesn't really represent a central authority (that we know of, probably has some sort of inter-suit communication ability tho)
Everything about the leader part is me guessing, but the identity of Deathless Enemy is pretty much 100% able to be known from textual examples in the first two books and novella.