u/MelodytheMermaid300

My whole life I've been taught that bc I'm female my body us inapriate. I got boobs since probably 7 that's when I started wearing a bra and my boobs were big at 11-12 and I was told to hide my chest an wear baggy clothes but it just made me look fatter and so ugly. My whole childhood I felt worthless, ugly and fat and disgusting I would see pretty girls and wish I looked skinny like them and looked like a normal child who was flat. Teachers and adult men lusted after me I was dressed in regular clothes but bc I had a developed body it was inapriate. And now I'm a adult not gonna say my age but a adult and I'm skinny now but still I have a hour glass figure big boobs and hips despite being like 100 lbs cuz I'm short and if I wear clothes that fit me its clear I have big boobs and it causes men to lust and I don't know what I'm supposed to do I feel like a monster over this and so sad and its so bad I never go outside anymore. I know the option is dress like a boy and it does help but doesn't the bible say women can't wear boy's clothes? I hate how online and irl its basically always the women's fault when men lust I don't even dress in immodest clothes but bc my body has big boobs and hips everything I wear looks inapriate and it hurts. My own brother turns away every time I walk around. Unless I dress like a boy I cause men to lust after me. The only option is to get super skinny so all my curves go away. Please tell me what I'm supposed to do here. im gonna delete this later. How can someone like me even be modest? how am I supposed to hide my big boobs and big hips?? And in case anyone is wondering what I actually wear in the house I usually wear boy clothes that are kind of loose on me outside I wear shirts and jeans either a xs or a kid size bc I'm under 5ft.